The Gardens - In the Beginning

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

State of Delirium

NO MORE YARD WORK -
NO MORE YARD WORK -
NO MORE YARD WORK -
or it's knee surgery for you, kiddo. Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. Must act like an invalid to not become an invalid. Gives me permission to transfer yard crap to husband...husband not in country...lucky devil...neighbors all talk, flew the coop, keeping to themselves, don't answer door or frantic phone calls...yard crap becoming crappier. Setback #30 - Puffiness Prevention Remedy: one pillow under left knee, five pillows under right knee with a few icy gel packs thrown in, heat pad, and a partridge in a pear tree (just kidding) (why do I feel like I'm in traction?). BED HOG. I have over night become THE BED HOG. I hog the bed most free hours I have, meaning most time away from THE JOB; and set myself up in traction, until I have had it with 2 hours of cat complaints that no food has appeared on their plates for their chubby little bodies. The dog, wanting to please mommy, becomes BED HOG JUNIOR hibernating in his bed dreaming of that last meal that was lifetimes ago. Returning slowly to normal, or more accurately, in my case, near normal, my surroundings are bordering on hellacious crud, or as the dog sees it, delicious crud. Anguish, torment, misery...the thought of parting with mega bucks...dog walker, lawn chopper, happy maids on the go...reluctantly thumbing through yellow pages...endless phone searches. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccckkk!!! Older years...gotta love them...one peg up from being dead, so could be worse. Perfect solution...checking out of my mind...but, so far, husband not too keen on idea of life with a zombie.

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