What idiots our founding fathers were! Whatever were they thinking or not thinking! Cash, trade or labor...you've got to be kidding! How un-American, these misfits of history.
I have rights, and one of my rights is to sit flat on my cushy derriere and spend spend spend without having the inconvenience of actually earning any of it. What a totally moronic concept...earning what I own. Hey, I live in the good old US of A where I can have what I want when I want it; so totally necessary in this day and age. I know, I know...I've thrown away half of it because I couldn't find a real use for all that stuff, but what the heck...when I give it to Goddiewill I can write it off of my taxes...how totally cool is that!
What did you say...DC double charges me interest...it's in the fine print? Why would I read the fine print? I've had my eye on a wide screen with all the whistles and bells; if I read that fine print I'd have to trash that little baby...no way.
I live in the good old US of A. Uncle Sam and I do without nothing, so eat your hearts out all you unfortunates who are corrupted by morals. I won't tell you later I told you so when I'm sailing to Bermuda in my 46 foot sailing yacht while you're just guzzling a beer, swatting mosquitoes, and bored to kingdom come.
Hooray! Hurrah! Yahoo! V-3 just raised my debt ceiling $5000 more...they acknowledge I'm their number one
Disclaimer: The above is a satire. No way does it represent how I actually live...how I used to live, perhaps...but not how I live now.