The Gardens - In the Beginning

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Me and my good buddy Sam

I'm one of the rich elite...I have five plastic cards that say it's true...V-1, V-2, V-3, MC and DC.  V-1 limit $11,000; V-2 limit $ 7500; V-3 limit $14,000; MC limit $12,000; and DC limit $16,000...wahooooo!  I'm rich, rich, rich, $60,500 rich!!!

What idiots our founding fathers were!  Whatever were they thinking or not thinking!  Cash, trade or labor...you've got to be kidding!  How un-American, these misfits of history.

I have rights, and one of my rights is to sit flat on my cushy derriere and spend spend spend without having the inconvenience of actually earning any of it.  What a totally moronic concept...earning what I own.  Hey, I live in the good old US of A where I can have what I want when I want it; so totally necessary in this day and age.  I know, I know...I've thrown away half of it because I couldn't find a real use for all that stuff, but what the heck...when I give it to Goddiewill I can write it off of my taxes...how totally cool is that!

What did you say...DC double charges me interest...it's in the fine print?  Why would I read the fine print?  I've had my eye on a wide screen with all the whistles and bells; if I read that fine print I'd have to trash that little baby...no way. 


I live in the good old US of A.  Uncle Sam and I do without nothing, so eat your hearts out all you unfortunates who are corrupted by morals.  I won't tell you later I told you so when I'm sailing to Bermuda in my 46 foot sailing yacht while you're just guzzling a beer, swatting mosquitoes, and bored to kingdom come.

Hooray!  Hurrah!  Yahoo!  V-3 just raised my debt ceiling $5000 more...they acknowledge I'm their number one patsy customer when it comes to financing their company.  So long, goodbye, adieu...I'm on my way to Best Buy where last night with my two beautiful green eyes I spied a mega everything-in-one camera I can't live without another minute.




Disclaimer:  The above is a satire.  No way does it represent how I actually live...how I used to live, perhaps...but not how I live now.





6 comments:

  1. Ha! That's funny.
    Very true for some people too.

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  2. Just BRILLIANt hon.

    I especially like that image of a human-trapped Visa card!!!

    Hugs, from a Thrifty Sandra!

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  3. What scares me is the fact that this is SO TRUE!

    And, our government has been using their own MEGA credit cards that has put us all in a worse e fix!

    kt

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  4. Great post and Oh so true.....we have been blessed in the past few months after the FIL passed away (he was a massive saver) and we are after 41 years of being frugal and clipping coupons and living within our means enjoying ourselves a bit.....We just bought our house after living in the same one for the past 26 years....never being flashy and trying to live beyond our means...We opted to pay off the house and stay put instead of "Moving on Up"......but as we stayed put the government moved section 8 housing into our lovely neighborhood ruining it and putting people in homes they couldn't pay for....and these are cheap houses
    We owe no one anything,we have paid cars.....no credit bills and now we paid cash for our new home....We are 60 years old....have done without....have had too many grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner and people seem jealous that we are "Movin on Up".......
    The Boss has been using his credit card from Capital One to purchase some new furnishings for the house....he comes home and as soon as he sees the charge posted he goes in and pays it in full....He doesn't even wait to get a statement...He makes like 10 payments a month....Never has a balance....So he calls the other day to get a replacement card and he asks if they could raise the limit by just $2,000.00 because we would be doing big time shopping...Now Capital One has $10,000. cash of his in one of their accounts.....they turned him down.....says he's been charging too much lately.......NONsense.....they aren't getting any interest from him that would be the real reason......What a world!!
    so glad to be back....

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  5. So true- I am leaning towards using all cash but man they penalize you for that too.
    Some of us just dont like to use credit...but its like if you dont get on that boat, well then baby you can't ride!

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  6. I started reading this thinking, this does not sound like her at all! :) In college, I thought The Credit Card was like a gift from heaven! How fabulous. Then, I had hard lessons to learn and paid it all off. I live virtually debt free now. Thank goodness, don't need to worry about that too!

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