Crash and Burn

I seem to be too bored with this endeavor to continue.  Blogging, never quite what I had envisioned it would be, has been a lonely disappointment for me in the fight to be popular, semi-popular, hardly popular, and downright sucks non-popular.    I will always be grateful for the early years that eventually snowballed into a nice little show of followers for all too short a time, and mourn the latter years when hardly any of my favorites escaped the black-hole of oblivion.  I leave this experience as I had entered it...alone and talking to myself.

Life in the Passing Lane

Life passing me by...
me passing life by -
two entities racing in the same direction
trying to overtake each other,
one is first then the other,
then the other is left in the dust
and reaches for the stars to pass first again.
First...last?



Does it even matter
in the battle to see who loses first
and who looses last?
Will I leave life nipping at my heels, 
or will life leave me running off a cliff
one horizon back?
Yesterday evaporates into tomorrow,
and today...well today is just another day.



What propels me, 
a person of modest accomplishments
to feel so unaccomplished - 
so off the radar of being cared about.
If I were the last person on earth
none of this would matter, I suppose...
but I'm the 1,000,000,000 plus person on the earth
and it still doesn't matter :(

I have a difficult time coming to terms with this issue,
this need to feel I matter...
One grain of sand in an ocean of sandy grains...
pinched up by a pair of tweezers
and released into a flushing commode.
Will it be missed?  Will it?
Is each day to be maxed out,
as the end is just that...THE END?



Heaven...hell...neither?
A treasure trove of beliefs -
all lay claim as the right one,
all proclaim others the wrong one.
We seem to need something more than death -
something more than death at the end of our life
to justify living it at all.
We want more than just a beginning and an ending.

Why? 

Isn't the gift of breathing enough?