Saturday, August 7, 2010

Picture Perfect

Round, plump,
beautiful, hefty butterball -
British Shorthair overtones,
adorable icy green eyes
with golden highlight -
sensitive demure soul,
a shadow passing by,
feet pounding lightly -

rambunctious purrs
with squeaky edges -
big paws when happy
massaging air,
claws extended -
klepto cat in youth,
penchant for pens,
reading glasses and keys -
pill addiction later years
nabbing all he spied,
stopped only shortly by
foaming cranberry mouth -
and
a face to fall in love with
over and over again.


A sad day in the burbs when a feline of rock solid commanding stature, clearly born to lead (in his own mind perhaps, but still he IS of commanding stature), is relegated to the life of going nowhere faster than a mosquito zeroing in on its next meal.

My poor Andee...life's dealt him a miserable hand of cards. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong circumstances...he lives lower than low, end of line, rock bottom, kaput in the pecking order of our feline trio. Never mind that hefty cat is big enough to take them both out if he so chooses... he still remains a sweet paunchy cat of little concern to the other two.

An insatiable desire to secure his piece of real estate amid the other two's territory has created in him a monstrous appetite to claim all within his sight, whether a chunk, a small portion, or a teeny tiny tidbit of minuscule value, as his and his alone.

In desperation he rubs his face with a vengeance on everything within his reach...it's mine...It's Mine...IT'S MINE! Uck! Smells of Zoe...rub, rub, rub...double uck! uck!! Smells of Jesse...rub, rub, rub rub rub...EL DESTRUCTO EXTRAORDINAIRE.

His mission, to destroy evidence of all but himself, has been known to topple beverage glasses, send cereal bowls smashing to the floor, scatter utensils to far corners of counter, disengage items from human hands, scoot paper products into thin air, unlucky-rotates shelf figurines in multi-directions, lucky-rotates shelf figurines to the edge and beyond, microwave engages for 9 seconds, radio blaring from on-button pushed, computer closes down unexpectedly, eye glasses on floor becoming doggie toy......COME ON!!! ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!

But still...despite all this...I do feel for him...how could I not...that beautiful round face...I am his to command...bodyguard elite..."NO" from the depths of hell...Zoe and Jesse perfect angels...repaying his tab...jet engine roaring purrs...his all too brief bedtime tease.

You're letting him get away with murder, girl...sigh...I know...sigh...looking in mirror...sigh...what the hell...what's on my forehead...I need my glasses... oh my god!

S - U - C - K - E - R!

Sighhhhhhhhh...




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