Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Trekking Poles

Why do I do what I do, and do it so well? Those brimming with optimism see this as the beginning of a tale quite positive. Those of a pessimistic nature know all too well that this tale could be of the totally opposite variety. Gather around all you light hearted and dark hearted souls, for this is a tale of a woman and a man and a pair of extravagantly costly, coveted, super duper LEKI Thermolite Aargon XL Anti-Shock Trekking Poles.

Older age is not old age, older age is not old age, older age is not old age, older age is not old age, older age is not old age...I wonder how many times I have to tell myself this before my body agrees. Hiking's in my blood. Did it growing up. Did it grown up. To not hike does not register.

It hit me like a gulp of sour milk from the carton, that day when I stood up by the edge of my bed and my feet said to sit back down. Older over night. Much older over night. Determination saw me through the hikes after that, but determination unfortunately does not make a newer body out of an older body...worse luck.

Not wanting to sell my soul to the devil, I had to come up with an alternate plan. Canes - geezes - old people stuff......oh look!!! - trekking poles - young people stuff. Wow!!!Price is not for the faint of heart! Ooooouch! Long story short...birthday gift from husband, flabbergasted but wanting to create delight...TREKKING POLES!!!

I get to hike with my husband. I want to hike with my husband. Talking to oneself on solo hikes sucks! First problem...husband walks so fast, I'm left talking to myself anyway. Second problem...no matter how much I plead, he has no lower gears for walking. Third problem...I'm not always my best friend.

Managed not to lose sight of him on canyon walk to falls. He was always waiting over the next ridge for me on the prairie walk. The look easy, piece-of-cake paved trail around the lake was my undoing. It is amazing what determination with a pair of trekking poles can make you accomplish.

In the beginning I managed to keep up with husband quite easily, but he just couldn't stay in low gear any longer and began to accelerate. Cripes!!! Longer strides and accelerated pushing of myself with trekking poles...okay caught up with husband again. Not being able to stay in second gear any longer husband began to accelerate even more.

Cripes! Cripes! Double Cripes!!! Started putting both trekking poles ahead of me and propelling myself with magnificent pushes like a skier pushing and flying off the downhill jump. Wow!!! Catching up with husband again. Oh my god!!! Husband shifting into overdrive and disappearing down the path.

Now, at this point, anyone who likes themselves would slow down and talk to themselves for the rest of the journey. But I, since evidently I wasn't my best friend that day, proceeded to propel myself at an even more magnificent speed, and I swear my feet lifted off the ground and I flew the rest of the way to trails end. All seemed well that night...

And now for the rest of the story.

Who knew therapy for hip problems could last for such a long time. While chiropractor (who by now is considered a member of our family), vacationed in Argentina, I pondered on how much of that trip in paradise I funded.

He encourages me to push, push, push...as he says the day I quit being active will be curtains for me. Personally I think he has another vacation in mind. I now believe only an idiot would have pursued the most imperfect choice I came up with to bond with husband.

Sigh......I hate being an idiot.


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