The Gardens - In the Beginning

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Cat Chat >^. .^< Interview with a Clowder of Little Devils


Today we’re here to get the lowdown on a bit of juicy gossip, that the cat collective at this little yellow house on Farnsworth Drive is the titillating bases of the super horrifying It Comes at Night movie.   The fear of scaring off our feline interviewee has us all tiptoeing and whispering.

A semi-truckload of canned Captain’s Catch with Sardine & Mackerel cat food is being delivered at this very moment, with the agreement that the head of the household, in just a few minutes, will sit down with us for an exclusive interview.

The truck driver has just left and we are navigating around the mountains of canned food to squeeze ourselves onto the fur covered couch just ahead of us.  This is so exciting waiting for the pack leader’s entrance.

Oh…pleaseeeee.  Give a mouser a break.




Are you the elusive Zoe we have been waiting for…Duchess of the Labyrinths of the Underworld of Human Beds?

What the………! (spit spit patooie)  Forget that grimalkin.  I am THE LACEY!  I am the terror that comes at night…grrrrr.  Move over, person of no importance; you’re sitting on my cushion!




Well…parDON me, hellcat.  Is that one of your subjects that just jumped onto the window sill over there?

HA HA HA ha ha ha.  I am THE ZOE!




Come closer, ZOOOe, so I can scratch your eyes out!

Do I look like my brain went to lunch early?  I don’t think so, you little pipsqueak!




Whoooooa…you two do know the cameras are rolling at this very moment, right?

Pipsqueak!  Pipsqueak!!  Pipsqueak!!!



Let go of me, person of no importance!  I’m going to scratch that Z cats eyes out and gobble them down for dinner!

OUCH!!!  Get your claw out of my arm, you little devil!

Grrrrr…you have me pinned down, you big devil…LET ME GO!




Sit!

Do I look like a dog?

SIT!!!

(Lick lick lick)  Do you smell a Zoe in here...you know, sour milk and rotten eggs.




(Lick lick lick lick lick)  Do you smell a Lacey in here…you know, bean farts and dragon breathe.




:(  So where is the head of this clan of hellcats?  Is it the other cat we were told about?  Wasn't his name Austin?

What?!?

What?!?

:) (Meeeeeooowwwwww purr puurrr puuurrrrr) Did someone say lunch?




Are you the main cat, cute little puss sticking your head out of the cat hassock hole?
                                                                        
He’s a two timing gigolo!  He’ll do anything mommy says for a pathetic chunk of tuna.

How so…cat who has been known to swipe the last nibble of food from a starving cat’s mouth.

Hmmmmm…does big tubby fat face look like a starving cat?




Bonnie and Clyde of the cat world!  Thank goodness you two can’t tolerate each other.  Sometimes heaven does smile down upon the rest of us felines. 

Tisk, tisk, tisk…such jealously, my little schizo calico.  And you…my little black munchkin, you’ll pay for that last remark when mommy leaves the house.


   

Oh, I see you are in the middle of your interview.  I’ll leave you all to your business and finish cleaning the cat puke out of my shoe in the bedroom.

Wait!!!  Are you THE MOMMY?

I’ve been known by that title.  Lately I’m known as THE BODY GUARD to this sweet little grey cat stuck between my legs.




My little sister!

My bigger problem than all the rest of you!

Biggest scaredy cat of them all!

With THE MOMMY as her bodyguard, she seems the smartest cat of you all.




:(

:(

:(

>^. .^<  (Rub rub purr purr lick lick)

A sweet lady cat of great mystery.  May we call you the Little Grey Shadow?  Are you ready for an interview?




Of course.  I’m always ready to talk about myself.  A cat full of mystery, I am, I am.

She’s full of misery.

She's full of something more to do with cat pans.

Love you, sis!

Well. I’ll leave you all to your cat chatter and get on with my cat pan duties :(

Wait little grey shadow!  Where are you going?  What about the interview?



Do I look like a duffus?  I've grow weary of being a pin cushion for my roommates claws.  Where mommy goes, I go.  (rub rub rub purr purr puuuuurrr) Love you mommy!



What about this truckload of bribes gifts.   Is there no honor among cats?

Honor?!?!?  What’s that, mommy?

Want an interview with THE GREY SHADOW?  Grab a cat pan scoop and follow me!

:’(  We're out of here!!!



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