Saturday, May 23, 2026

Farewell to a sister I swear could "chew nails and spit rust"


Above 
Sisyrinchium angustifolium, Narrowleaf Blue-eyed Grass




Joni Mitchell’s Singing My Song

 

Into the wind I turn

As it washes past the years of

youth, difference, and distance

 

You disappeared right in front of me

Sifting through the hourglass of time

Until one day we were old

 

Zero drama, I promised

Just conversations of yards

Gardens, vegetables and chickens

 

And when nothing was left to be said,

there was always the weather

and the weather always was.

 

So where do we go from here

When you are stardust and I am alone

And chances are gone forever more.

 

I cried when I heard that old song last night-

As my reality embraced me

And my illusions sunk rock-bottom.




Clematis Viorna, Leather Flower


'Winterthur' Viburnum flower buds


Maple tree sapling growing out from under a brick.


I don't have the type of Leather Flower ID anymore.
The large flowered one is Clematis Hagley Hybrid





Sculptured Pine Borer - Chalcophora virginiensis


Clematis 'Venosa'


Unripe Blueberries




Debi

(Deborah)

My Younger Sister

She left us on April 28 



We seldom kept in touch when we were young.  A baby quilt was made for her first child, but there was never an acknowledgment of receiving it.  When they returned from Guam to Nevada to stay for a a few weeks before Charlie found housing in Louisiana, their child had the quilt, so that was that.  
 
What I always remembered from that experience was a very active young child crawling everywhere, getting into all the lower drawers in my kitchen, and months later finding the spatulas under the living room furniture.

The first and last time I really talked to her about life was years ago when my husband and I drove down there by car for Thanksgiving, and after hours of driving around Huston searching for an affordable hotel with a bed my back could handle, we ended up back at their home empty handed.

She had me lay on their bed and asked me how it was.  It felt wonderful.  We laid there for what seemed like hours talking about life and then we joined the husbands.  Debi and Charlie moved to the small bedroom and gave us their bedroom for our stay.  She had this wonderful set of cookbooks, and each time she cooked us dinner it was an unforgettably delicious experience. 

It was the last time we ever talked about the things that lay beneath the surface of our lives.  After that, we talked about her vegetable garden, Charlie often mowing down her flower beds, planting the fence line with native shrubs and vines, the neighbors collection of cats who partly lived in Debi's yard for the food handouts, her chicken coop filled with chickens she had raised herself, and the weather. That private connection we shared never happened again.

I was never in her world much.  I had a more complicated life with my youngest sister Sonya than I ever did with Debi, mainly because I would always see Sonya when I visited mom and dad.
  
Debi was a few years younger than me, so our lives never connected in that sisterly way one sees in movies.  What stood out the most in her preschool years at home, was seeing her grabbing that toy football, tucking it against her side defensively, and barreling ahead right off the high porch edge and tumbling across the lawn.  She was a stubborn toughie back then, and I think that attitude followed through most of her life.

She called me Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday the week before she died.  It was late night after her husband was asleep, and I told her she could talk as long as she wished.  She called me her angel, a sentiment that surprised and warmed me.

She talked about the three of us, the three sisters, and then when she added our brother into the mix, it was ‘three sisters and a drunken brother’.  She sounded happy, so I just listened, as she rambled on all over the place about life, but she repeated ‘three sisters and a drunken brother’ so many times, it is etched into my mind forever.


Her celebration of life will have a butterfly release, Beatles music and Lumpia, one of the dishes she was well known for.  I know nothing about a love for Beatles music or food dishes she was celebrated for, but I do remember the Softball playing years and the bad knees.  I guess that counts for something.







Miss you so much.




It's been raining for days, with another week left to go.  I did receive my Saatva mattress two days ago and my body is beginning to slowly recover from the torture of owning the mattress from Hell.  I haven't taken photos lately, so not much was presented here.  I find myself with little to say.  Much love and joy.
  
   Yvonne  



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18 comments:

  1. Some lovely vibrant Spring colours there.

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  2. Hello Yvonne,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your sister! Sending hugs and prayers! I love your clematis blooms. Beautiful flowers and plants. The pine borer is a destructive pest. I am glad the Saatva mattress is helping your to feel better. Thank you for linking up and sharing your post. Take care, have a great day and a happy weekend!

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  3. May her memory be a blessing for you, Yvonne. It seems that it already is.

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  4. ...Yvonne, you find yourself with little to say? I found what you said about your sister of great interest, a sister I swear could "chew nails and spit rust!" That says a lot.

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  5. Condolences on the passing of your sister. So much of our lives are lived on the surface, aren't they. Those deeper moments of connection mean so much because they are so rare. I'm glad your new mattress is easing your back pain.

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  6. Your words are so poignant, Yvonne, and so beautifully shared. I send my deepest wishes for peace and healing and I am so very sorry about Debi's passing. I'm grateful that you had that wonderful conversation with her in her last days. I suspect it was a wonderful moment for both of you. Sending big hugs.

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  7. Dear Yvonne, my deepest condolences on the passing of your sister. I read your story with both curiosity and wonder, for it is so very different from the one I share with my own siblings. I am currently heading to the village of my childhood with my sister and brother for the Whitsun holiday; I feel a bit excited about it. The death of our youngest brother—nearly 23 years ago now—really brought us back together and forged a strong bond between us once again.
    I hope that a new mattress will at least be able to alleviate your physical pain.
    All my love,
    Warmly,
    Astrid

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  8. Dear Yvonne,
    My condolences on the loss of your sister. It is always painful to lose close relatives. You need to take care of yourself.

    Your Clematis are so beautiful. Several of mine died this winter because there was so little snow and they didn't like it.

    Sending you lots of warm thoughts!
    Hugs.

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  9. A lovely tribute. None of us are perfect. I used to wish for a sister. My parents took in a foster teenager, and I admitted it was upsetting. Oh, life...

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  10. Beautiful flowers and a sad song ❤️

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  11. This touched my heart. Grief, memory, humor, rain, flowers, all woven together so beautifully. Sending you warmth and peace.

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  12. Hello Yvonne, I am so sorry 😞 for your loss.
    Your photos are beautiful and captivating.

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  13. Thank you for writing this lovely piece about Mom. Hugs to you, Aunt Yvonne.

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    Replies
    1. This is from Marsha Riti, Yvonne's niece. Pushed the publish button too fast and didn't realize that my comment was going out as "Anonymous".

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  14. What a beautiful tribute to your sister. We are very sad she passed. I like to think that she is now in a beautiful place filled with love and light. Erma Smith

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  15. Dear Yvonne,
    Apparently April 28th, 2026, was a sad day for our sisters — because my sister-in-law also passed away on that day. I am very sorry for your loss as well.

    I really liked the way you described your relationship with Deborah. In some ways, it reminds me a little of my relationship with my brother, who is almost fourteen years older than I am. We do not see each other very often, we are quite different in many ways, and we rarely share our feelings openly — but we care deeply about each other.
    Last year he nearly died from a pulmonary embolism. At the time, I told him that even though we do not see each other often, I would still rather live in a world where he exists than in a world without him. I think that was probably the most heartfelt thing I had said to him since childhood — and it is still completely true.

    Thank you so much for your kind words on my blog. I would love to give you a big hug as well… at least virtually, that is possible 🥰🤗.
    All the best from Austria,
    Traude
    https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2026/05/reisebericht-2025-von-ost-nach-west-auf.html

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  16. Dear Yvonne,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sister Debi.
    Your memories of her feel tender and true …
    the child with the football, the cookbooks and garden,
    the late-night calls where love came softly through.

    Sometimes the deepest bonds return near the end,
    not loudly, but in words we never forget.
    “Three sisters” now carries both sorrow and grace,
    and her calling you her angel is a blessing to keep.

    John

    PS For the most part I’ve been taking a break from blogging and most of the internet except for the spot I’ve been keeping my screen … the Big Bear Valley Eagle nest. I posted about it yesterday. When I clicked the “publish” button, I wasn’t really satisfied because I thought about a few of my favorite followers … you being one of them … who had left me really kind comments that I hadn’t responded to. So, let me apologize for the delay. I especially loved your last comment which mentioned a wish that I might be in my “gentle place of coziness as life leads you through time.” OMG, what beautiful words and thank you so much for recognizing my happy place. Lately, blogging has become a bit more challenging for me and possibly it’s just because of where I am in life … getting closer to the end, as they say. 😊 In the last year, 2 of my favorite regular bloggers have had life events and suddenly quit publishing. It’s strange how I felt almost as close to them as humans I know in physical form. 😊 Anyway, excuse my long comment, I shall close, but first … congrats on the new Saatva mattress! My better half and I have been considering a new mattress and please give me a report on yours when time permits. I’m thinking the mattress we are on now is the OTHER “mattress from hell.” Take good care, be well, and keep up the great Perfection, More or Less. Big hugs and love, John

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  17. I feel for you, I lost my brother in 1959 at only 21. He still sits in my office watching over me and he never gets old as I have done. The memory never fades and I still miss him so. Take care hugs Diane

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