Look What The Dog Did!

It is a well documented phenomenon among cat keepers that if kitty is deposited into a room as big as a football field with a pair of $250 sandals sitting by themselves surrounded by a vast field of emptiness, kitty will upchuck its hairball right in the center of one of them.

Never has it been recorded since the time kitty was created by an experiment gone terrifically haywire, that kitty at the onset of its sudden urge to regurgitate all that ingested fluff, will rush like a bolt of lightning to that linoleum or tile floor to save its human the agony of retching a hairball themselves while transporting that wad of paper towel soaked through with gunk to the nearest trash receptacle.

Kitty keepers agonize even more over the certainty that if kitty is not going to keep its just consumed vitals contained in its delicate little tummy, they'll be cleaning all that semi-digested tidbits from the upholstered armchair, canister vacuum cleaner controls, stove top burner, sports jacket on bed, half paid bills on table, computer keyboard, dvd player, opened purse...you get it.  Kitties love clutter.  Triggered into upchuck mode, a chemical transformation compels kitty to zero in on their humans clutter as a source of comfort when all that retching commences, filling them with a tranquilizing aura of satisfaction.

This was told to me by Zoe, so it must be true.  She says we have only ourselves to blame when kitty loves us so much.  I'm beginning to think she's pulling my leg a bit too much.