The Gardens - In the Beginning

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Southern Exposure


Vintage...


Sometimes I look like one, too.
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As my youth skyrockets to light years away, the curse of running around like a whirling top for misplaced reading glasses seems to be a daily occurrence.  Reading without convex assistance is an impossibility, but I recently perplexed the eye doc by crossing over from near sighted to normal sighted.  With new glasses to see anything within arms reach and correcting an almost normal not normal left eye, I celebrated by waiting in line two hours at the not so local DMV for 12 numbers to be called before I finally reached that counter and had Restriction: 01 Glasses sent off to Siberia.  

Hallelujah!
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To every good
there is always a
BAD
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I'd show you the driver license photo, I really would, if I wanted you to go blind; but I'm a nice little girl, I really am.
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Looking at the world through rosy colored non-prescription sunglasses...very first and last slightly expensive pair.  Teach Vic never to ask if I want to check out the choices before looking at the price tag...come on...can I help it if my subconscious has a built-in magnet for an arm and a leg kind of stuff.



Here kitty kitty-come to mama you little booger...


Someone in the neighborhood has kitties-on-the-loose


My garden's their preferred kitty poop pan
and
my birds are becoming tasty little appetizers


 I love cats...I love cats...I love cats...








What the hell...!


Someone in this family is no longer allowed to call themselves a repair person unless it is in the context of a funny joke.  Nuff said.
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You say tomaaato...I say tomaughto...


Oh, Mr. Manager, thank goodness no one did my work while I was on vacation.  You're the bestest of the best!  And you missed me so much that it was a pleasure reporting to work three of my vacation days to play catch-up.





Exposed...

I once met two brothers from the southeast of England, okay...maybe to be a bit more precise, I thought for a short moment they were from that particular region.  Their cockney accent was so thick and heavy that my noggin was working eighty miles an hour to decipher those foreign words flying from their lips.  Queens...they grew up in Queens...get out of here!!!  Queens, really?  I thought all of New York was a part of the U.S.  Obviously I was wrong.

Nevada...Nevaaada, like at spelled ad.  Get it right or you aren't from them there parts.  Nevawda made us cringe, shake our heads, and think what a duffous.  Mom and dad always said Worshington, so I can toss the blame their way when a real Worshingtonite threw up their hands at me and said WASHINGTON, its Waaaaashington!  Worshington...of course, what else could we expect from you poor Nevawdian folks.

Living in Nashville for the last twenty-some years, accents are barely noticeable.  I hardly ever hear a southern drawl...you know...Gone with the Wind kind of stuff.  We're too cosmopolitan, too much of a blend to really stand out in the accent department. This is my observation...apparently mine alone.

I've been told many times that I'm not from these here parts and asked too many times what kind of accent I put to the words that exit my lips.  Accent?  What in the hell are you talking about?  I don't have an accent...I'm from Nevaaada; we don't have accents in Nevaaada.  Okay...if you insist, I have a western accent and we'll just leave it at that...whoop-ee-ti-yi-o get along little doggies.



There's nothing that chocolate
and
good pastry won't cure.




2 comments:

  1. Poor birdies...When I lived in Washington (the state) it was often determined that I had a Chicago accent. Grew up in Illinois but who knew?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm from the Midwest and people say worsh and quopon instead of wash and coupon. I always said coupon like coopon and my mother thought I was so odd. For trivia's sake, Iowa has a town, Nevada. It's pronounced Nev-Aid-da.
    That really sucks having to go in on vacation.

    ReplyDelete

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