I learned a devastating lesson last week at another’s expense. I’m wondering why, in all my years of heartache and disappointment intermingled with hopefulness and good fortune, it’s taken me so long to finally become cynical enough to trust only my own judgment, to embrace the fact that others are quite capable of dropping me flat on my face, because it’s my face that’s smashed…not theirs. Then they blow me off with sorry in the phrase and move on to not caring enough again.
I cannot even begin to fathom the blankness of a mind, the indifference it encompasses, to put a creature in a carrier and not latch the door…not even semi-latch it in careless haste or apathetic repetitious boredom. It’s their obligation to their occupation and evidently a very lightly taken one.
Such a sweetheart and each time the back door was opened he wanted into our home so badly. The choice was easily made to have him neutered, shots, and welcomed into our lives permanently. Picked up from the vet at closing time in the dark and pounding rain, before I reached the car he pushed open his carrier door and disappeared into the night.
The clinic bought a trap, but days of no communication on their part, and feeling like a dentist trying to pull out all their teeth with each call I make, I don’t trust them anymore. They led me to believe they cared, but after four days of phone calls on my part, they finally told me the only time they saw him was the night he disappeared. The location was in the opposite direction of his escape, and the fact that I had to produce a photo so they knew what he even looked like, leaves me doubting he was ever spotted at all.
I walked the area around the clinic…I don’t even know where I would begin looking each morning and night. It’s an area of miles and miles of businesses and offices without places for refuge. He had a good home and was loved. Now he has nothing. Taken in a car to a place many miles away, I have little hope he will ever make his way back home…but I do hope. It’s all I have now. The garage door’s cracked open and his heating pad bed is still plugged in, and I wait. And I’m crying again.