The wisp of a breeze this cold morning
Stirs the scent of a
forest of moss
Barefoot I’d walk if my
feet weren’t flat
Down I'd sit and run fingers over
Stuck I'd be until a miracle
No one has time for a
friend once true
When your life is the
honky tonk blues.
My hips lean precariously right
My boobs shift dramatically left
As I sway to that two-feet
shuffle
'cause my beat-up shoes are a D
width
While my dainty feet are a C width
And my proportions are double width
Do you care, even a little bit?
It’s that hallelujah time this year
When one sprouts another day older
So push that walker on with a heave
To the right drag as you’re pantry bound
To the left drag for a
jar of jam
Round-a-bout to start over again
for a dagnabbit clean dinner knife.
They call me the doddering old folk
Nursing home bound, if I'm out of line
I’m a bonified two fish
jobber
A Pisces here, and a Pisces
there
Coming, going, and going, coming
I’m so confused, who am I
again
Oh, that's right; another day older.
A C in a D width shoe oldster
Shuffling along begging for white cake
Engulfed in gobs of rich white frosting,
And vanilla bean ice cream there too
Though the yummiest
is chocolate
Or so you keep saying, keep saying…
But it's my way, or no way, capeech!
I’m in a blue mood, I
guess. It will be short term, since I
love myself and hate headaches. I react
to words that push my buttons. I learned
to walk away, well… I thought I had learned to walk away when I was in therapy,
but I always find myself apologizing for becoming upset to the person, who in a
perfect world, owes me that apology.
Life is so hard and
messy. It seems like one big mistake,
and I’m right in the thick of it. Since
there is no way for me to go except up or down, I’m re-inventing myself. I’m still at zero percent change.
I’ll get back with you on
the plan when I come up with one.
My gratitude Journal was
dumped, with a soggy tea bag plopped onto it to prevent retrieval from the
trash can. Not my style, I finally gave
up on it. After another search, I
settled on one of just blank lines for writing whatever. A prompt is written inside the front cover to
remind me that which is precious to write, but it is up to me to create the
contents.
Pencils are decided
instead of pens, as I am a perfectionist who would rather erase, than cross
out. Let’s not get too hung up on that
word perfectionist. For a time, my
embroidery patterns and finished pieces were published in a variety of magazines,
and that didn’t happen by being imperfect.
Let’s just say, I do my
best to be viewed as a professional. I
never apologize for that.
Who would have ever
thought, looking at me now, that I was once young, wearing miniskirts and
drawing those spiky eye lashes around my eyes with sculptured curls around my
face. Oh, how I’ve changed. Like water running freely from a facet for a
lifetime, then suddenly turned off. My
downhill slide to Oldsterville seemed overnight in my noggin.
Hello Yvonne and Happy Birthday to you! I wish you many more happy years.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your birthday images, the poems and your garden. Your kitties are so sweet. I am taking care of my hubby with his kidney disease, so I know how it feels getting old and not feeling well. There are days you may not feel so chipper and happy, as long as it does not last. Hang in there! Thank you for linking up and sharing your post. Take care, enjoy your day and happy weekend. PS, thank you for leaving me a comment.
Happy Birthday to you! Lovely pictures of the cats. Take care, and have a great day!
ReplyDeleteDear Yvonne :)
ReplyDeleteYou may be surprised to see my post, as other bloggers may be who don't know why I'm back blogging, but it's all good. Happy Birthday Yvonne, And Many Happy Returns, many many more. It is a struggle sometimes when we suffer from old age syndrome, but I hope the feeling doesn't last, as now we are just a bit closer to Spring and the warmer weather. may ease your pain and
give you more pleasure to be out in your garden. I enjoyed the cat sketches, they made me smile, and the photos of Charlotte and Austin are delightful. I have posted a cat today-
All the best, and feel better.
Sonjia.
...Yvonne, thanks for the preview of things to here once our snow melts. I wish you a Marvelous March.
ReplyDeleteBest birthday wishes!
ReplyDeleteHappy March Birthday, dear Yvonne! Austin and Charlotte put together a marvelous cat-filled birthday post for you! Their computer skills are impressive. I especially love the drawing of the cat lounging in bed with a cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteI laughed at your description of dumping the gratitude journal in the trash with a soggy teabag on top of it. And I enjoyed reading all the other writings you shared with us from your new journal. And as for your line -- "Basically fooling myself to believe in a fantasy" -- well, aren't we all, yes, aren't we all. I know fantasy is what gets me though MY day, LOL!
Opera cats!
ReplyDeleteYvonne, your words move like winter wind,
ReplyDeletesharp at times, but honest and alive.
You may feel blue, yet even in that hue
there’s strength in how you strive.
A journal soaked, a pencil poised,
a perfectionist who still creates …
that’s not zero percent change at all,
that’s courage at the gates!
Miniskirts fade, but spirit stays;
no ice storm steals that flame.
You walk the garden, slow but sure,
and hope still signs your name.
John
You cause me almost to cry with a smile. Thank you, with love.
DeleteHappy March Birthday, Yvonne! Wishing you gentle days, good health, and many peaceful moments in your garden as spring slowly arrives. I really enjoyed the lovely cat sketches and photos.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! Wow ... such a waterfall of words with imagery, and all of it interesting. No matter how much those bones ache, Yvonne, your creativity relentlessly still flows. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! The kitties are adorable.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Happy Birthday Yvonne.
ReplyDeleteHi Yvonne- What a fun post celebrating March Birthdays and especially yours! Happy Birthday to you!!!
ReplyDeleteso much fun included with your entry here. i have not ventured around the gardens yet, i fear it will be depressing. i hope your blue mood passes quickly, loving yourself helps bring joy!! pretty cats and happy birthday!!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday in March!
ReplyDeleteMy husband's birthday is on March 4th, so tomorrow.
I love the photos of the cats and the daffodils.
All the best, Irma
Hello, Yvonne, I loved this post - so sweetly honest and true. Happy Birthday to you. Remember, it's not the years in your life that matter, it's the life in your years.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I have missed out on you all these years. I've been blogging since 2011.
I'm with you on the gratitude journal stuff. I think you have to experience the opposite to understand why it matters. I write down all my thoughts, good and bad and that helps me 'let it go' or at least saves my husband and kids from having to listen to me vent :) Hoping this is the start of a good year for you. Keep walking around the garden. x K
Happy belated Birthday! The cat art is really quite special, I enjoyed them all!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Happy Birthday, Dear Human (I loved that one!) -- or belated, as the case may be. I loved every single image. I so loved and appreciated that you tell it like it is. Winter is tough on a good day for me and this one has been so very long and so cold. Like you, I deal with persistent, daily headaches and they get old after awhile. I've learned how to manage and walk through them (except the really bad ones where I just hide), not wanting to waste a minute. (Or if I do waste it, waste it doing something I choose, not that chooses me!). I hope every day finds you a little better. I do share a lot with my Secret Keeper (Lizzie) -- that's the good thing about cats, they never tell! I hope every day is a little better. (And I'm with you on the gratitude journal. I kept one for many years, now I just try to think about them and live them and not worry about writing them down!)
ReplyDeleteYvonne, I wish you some beautiful Spring Weather to warm your bones and to celebrate your March birthday if a bit late. May your garden soon bring you birds and color and warmth and may you and your favorite gardener (or perhaps he is he your assistant gardener?) enjoy the beauty of those lovingly planted bulbs and starts. Hugs to you and pats to your naughty but adorable kitties. Who couldn't love them all in all their moods. ... we can't have cats or bird feeders or plant flowers -- those are the three things I miss sometimes from what we refer to as our former life! (Oh of course goes without saying I too sometimes miss my younger days, but that would be true no matter where I was living my life!)
ReplyDeletesuch a fun collection of cat images. Have you seen the stage show Cats? I recommend it! Have a wonderful weekend ahead, and thankyou for visiting my blog this week.
ReplyDeletetime goes way too fast, and yes we must adapt to bodies that won't do quite what they used to, and the person in the mirror has changed. But, we are never too old to change, learn something new, start a new hobby, meet someone new, attack life with whatever energy we have. I am blogging, and doing little doodle sketches. Take care of you. Have a great weekend ahead.
ReplyDeleteYour cats made me laugh — they’ve got so much personality.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you mixed the funny bits with your poems and garden notes, it felt very real and easy to connect with.
Even with the cold and aches, you still notice the little signs of spring coming, and that’s inspiring.
Wishing you good cake, happy days, and warmer walks ahead.
Oh goodness cats galore so fun! They are all adorable.
ReplyDeleteHappy, happy Birthday dear Blogfriend Yvonne. Best wishes. I love this funny post with so much good stories and wonderful pictures.
ReplyDeleteGreetings by Heidrun ❤️