The Gardens - In the Beginning

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dark Side of Eden

Turkeys...we have plenty of them on this park, but today I'm not talking about the human ones.  Out of nowhere, three hens and sixteen chicks have materialized near the pond area.  The adults are scratching wildly around that large dirt patch, chunks of soil flying in all directions, sashaying their bodies back and forth as they flip dirt on themselves before settling into a nesting type mode on that bug quenching dusty mound with wings outstretched.  The chicks settle in to the same routine after the hens have risen and pecked their food picking way over to the pond.

After a while a few of the chicks rise up and join the hens, but most of those chicks are content to just stay put with wings outstretched in their huddle of bodies on that dusty patch of ground.  The biggest hen moseys over to that display of lovely young bodies, and starts kicking the hell out of the dirt sending the rest of the chicks scattering to the pond.  She settles down to a second dust bath before rejoining the gang.

Eventually they begin pecking their food picking way into the tree covered beyond and become invisible to my eyes.  I'm looking at all those 'weeds' out there.  Most people hate them with a vengeance, but the turkeys need them for the seeds they provide and the insects their green leaves hide.  Turkeys would starve if we had our own way and herbicided all those pesky weeds into oblivion to satisfy our need to have nature wrapped up tidily in a straight jacket of neatness.

Do gardens have a dark side to their personality?  Mine do.  Baby thugs hid in the greens I've planted, silently becoming tomorrow's teenagers of destruction.  Maple, elm, bradford pear, eucalyptus, chinese redbud and japanese/chinese honeysuckle seedlings become six foot monsters before I discover their existence.  Bermuda grass, yellow nutsedge, japanese knotgrass and stiltgrass, and who knows what else, busily tries to smother my natives and non-natives into oblivion; and this is all with the courtesy of mother nature and my lovely neighbors; both whom I have no control over whatsoever, kapoot, zilch, nada nada nada, zero baby zero.

Neighbor to the left has a healthy patch of bermuda grass mingled with another coarser grass on steroids.  Always a day late and a dollar short on the mowing time table, those grasses are trying to set up housekeeping on my grounds and are succeeding quite marvelously much to my horror.  Neighbor to the right has developed an allergy to yard work beginning some years ago, and has become the living manual of all that is so wrong with life among the lazy elite.  He has every known obnoxious entity the world has ever harbored proliferating wildly away in his reserve of dubious origins and questionable motives.

I've even become my own worst enemy and have begun to sink in a losing battle with the eradication of that oh-so-cute native river oats crap that I planted three little tykes of some ten years ago, and now at last count have cut down more than fifty clumps of that baby-faced monster.  I need some time for myself outside of the gardens and have deserted the healthy and gone over to the dark side.  It's spray, baby, spray...kill, kill, kill.  I'm on a mission...I need a life outside of my sorry National Wildlife Federation, Audubon, and Wild bad.

Japanese Stiltgrass

River Oats

Dwarf Joe Pye Weed 'Gateway'
5 to 6 feet tall

Part of cicada damage where eggs were laid
in the stems of Spicebush - after eggs hatched,
stems are warped and split open

Miss No Name
Was given a piece off a lily bulb
at a Master Gardener Meeting.
Took about seven years for it
to become big enough to bloom.
Love it - whatever it is.

Keeper of the Pond

Beautiful blue dragonfly

Blackhaw Viburnum berries
after the rain

Blackhaw Viburnum berries after a short drought -
they all fell off the tree

Hosta 'Halcyon'
Have to water this baby everyday, or
it refuses to bloom. 

Hairy Sunflower

Giant Coneflower
Rudbeckia maxima
against a 6 foot high fence

Too hot to actually use this deck
for anything but a collect all

Dustin's stamp of approval is lacking on the front yard.
It's leash territory for him, as he is so addicted to
running down the street with his owner
hot on his trail, her arms wildly waving,
yelling 'come back here, you little sh*t!'

Glossy Black Chokeberry
I tried one of these...only a bird could love it.

Clematis i. 'Hendersonii'

Royal Catchfly

After five attempts to get a completely undamaged
85 pound  umbrella stand, I gave up.  The only piece
lacking is a screw tightener replacement, but UPS
keeps insisting on using the straps for handles
even though it is printed on the straps that's a NO NO.
The last shipment for me to just remove a tightener
from the tube and have the rest returned, was actually
missing the fell out somewhere along the route. 
I'm buying a large bolt from the hardware store,
and will just live with that conversation piece.

Blue Star Threadleaf

Belladonna Lily
I'm in love!
Beautiful pinks with golden and bluish highlights.
Fat strap leaves in the spring disappear,
then the flower stems shoot up later in summer
two feet tall,
and produce these deadly sweet blooms.

July 28, 2010
Birth of my little baby
Perfection...More or Less
the beginning of
my descent
most sublime
with my first post
Thank you, Tracy,
my first follower
outside of family...
 I do sort of think
 of her as distant family.
She encouraged,
plugged my blog,
wonderful comments
 left and right,
she's a sweetie!
Thank you all
for reading
 whatever I throw at you...
you're awfully good sports.
to all of my friends
who post more than once a week,
you're killing me...
it's like running a marathon
 trying to keep up
 with all your posts,
Love you all.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Me and my good buddy Sam

I'm one of the rich elite...I have five plastic cards that say it's true...V-1, V-2, V-3, MC and DC.  V-1 limit $11,000; V-2 limit $ 7500; V-3 limit $14,000; MC limit $12,000; and DC limit $16,000...wahooooo!  I'm rich, rich, rich, $60,500 rich!!!

What idiots our founding fathers were!  Whatever were they thinking or not thinking!  Cash, trade or've got to be kidding!  How un-American, these misfits of history.

I have rights, and one of my rights is to sit flat on my cushy derriere and spend spend spend without having the inconvenience of actually earning any of it.  What a totally moronic concept...earning what I own.  Hey, I live in the good old US of A where I can have what I want when I want it; so totally necessary in this day and age.  I know, I know...I've thrown away half of it because I couldn't find a real use for all that stuff, but what the heck...when I give it to Goddiewill I can write it off of my totally cool is that!

What did you say...DC double charges me's in the fine print?  Why would I read the fine print?  I've had my eye on a wide screen with all the whistles and bells; if I read that fine print I'd have to trash that little way. 

I live in the good old US of A.  Uncle Sam and I do without nothing, so eat your hearts out all you unfortunates who are corrupted by morals.  I won't tell you later I told you so when I'm sailing to Bermuda in my 46 foot sailing yacht while you're just guzzling a beer, swatting mosquitoes, and bored to kingdom come.

Hooray!  Hurrah!  Yahoo!  V-3 just raised my debt ceiling $5000 more...they acknowledge I'm their number one patsy customer when it comes to financing their company.  So long, goodbye, adieu...I'm on my way to Best Buy where last night with my two beautiful green eyes I spied a mega everything-in-one camera I can't live without another minute.

Disclaimer:  The above is a satire.  No way does it represent how I actually I used to live, perhaps...but not how I live now.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Afghanistan - Being all one can be.

I know persons who are all they can hails from the dark side...the force is not with him.  Another is the poster child of everything obnoxiously irritating.  They both serve a purpose in my life; but at this moment, I'm thinking more towards the positive spectrum of my existence.

Husband...we both jokingly call him my little headache; but at one point in our union, he was a migraine, toothache, and hemorrhoids all gift wrapped in yellow vinyl crime scene tape.  He's stepped up to the plate and hit a home run with all bases loaded.

He's my hero...he's my sweetheart.  I thought we would die of old age before overcoming our American dream illusion disillusioned by entanglement in plastic card and bank IOU debt.  I was overwhelmed and beginning to give up, he was just short of a trillion overseas job applications submitted; then a plane whisked him off to employment in Iraq, followed by Afghanistan.

Simply put...he's overqualified for the type of work he does.  He considers himself fortunate they overlooked that fact, and is aiming his goals closer to the top of that ladder of success.  He began as a sixty year youngster working physical labor jobs alongside those that really were youngsters.

Southern Afghanistan - Roasting oven of the country

He's had good accommodations...he's had some of the worse in the world.  Today he's living in a tent with seven other persons, and he takes a long hike to use the latrine and showers.  He watches his small laptop movies at his work desk after work before he calls it a night, and walks to his tent of no privacy to end his long day of twelve or more hours seven days a week drudge.

He walks everywhere after dark with boots and flashlight, as the discovery of things in the desert night are not the things you want to meet in flip-flops or sometimes not even the things you want to meet without some type of weapon.  

Camel Spider - also known as a Wind Scorpion
Usually around 4 inches long

Aggressive 16 to 24 inch Saw-scaled Viper
Considered the world's most dangerous snake
 because of its highly toxic venom.
LOTS of these in Afghanistan's deserts

He's abruptly ended telephone conversations with warning sirens blaring in the background, saying he has to hurry to the bunker.  Last night he told me he watched a movie after hours at work, walked past the bunker with several men at the entrance smoking but ignoring him, got to his tent with all seven men sleeping soundly in their bunks, only to discover the base was on 'incoming rocket status'...with hardly anyone hearing the warning.  He says the warnings come over the intercom system in an English accent proclaiming 'Iiiiiin com ming rock et, Iiiiiin com ming rock et.

He lives in temperatures of up to 124 degrees Fahrenheit at its max, although if he is so unfortunate to be standing out in that unforgiving sunshine, the temperature on his skin can reach 136 degrees Fahrenheit.

Fortress built by Alexander the Great during his push to India

I guess I actually live the existence of a military wife.  We are together four weeks out of every fifty-two...together one month out of twelve.  He has my total admiration and devotion, and he gets away with murder at vacation time, how could I not let that be...he deserves so much, much more.

Our debt is a thing of the past, if we keep paying taxes we own our home, savings are beginning to rise above puny, our aged teeth have been given new life by a dentist that is not a crappy preferred provider, and we're repairing our home little by little to not fall apart before we do.

He's one of the most honest people I know for this day and age, he would give you the shirt off his back, he's never at a loss for good words with company, he's that type of person everyone loves to be around...he's that type of person everyone loves.

He was a handsome devil when I first met him...he's still quite devilish handsome.  He calls himself 'my little infidel', I just call him 'my sweet cheeks'.

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