Thursday, March 10, 2011

Remind me again why I can't live without cats...

Still feeling young...when husband would cringe every time I announced we were going on a rock expedition; him wondering out loud with a disposition soured in two seconds flat...who is this creature he's living with that plucks rocks and boulders along with their children and relatives from where they are happiest, forcing them to set up housekeeping in our gardens; while the neighbors are plucking rocks and boulders out of their gardens and chucking them back into the countryside.  Days when a thirty pound rock was still a possibility for me to cart out of the wilds, and a sixty pound rock we both could moan and groan our way back to the tailgate of our vehicle with it.

Surveying construction site for the cream of the crop of unusual appearing chunks of sand not yet eroded; chunks caressed, abused, and bashed by wind and water into misshapen goodies...a yowl of significant magnitude pierced the air and yanked our heads in its direction.  It popped out of the jungle of weeds, this handful of white fluff with a mouth attached to its face that opened from ear to ear and barraged us with cries of neediness.  Two more fur balls stayed in the safety of weeds, one orange-striped, one siamese-like...only the runt of the lot took a chance and allowed me to scoop it up into the safety of my arms and rush it home to the dungeon, a room full of manly man crap, husband's crammed full of junk a life of solitary confinement.  (Next morning the other two fur balls were bribed with tuna, grabbed leaving gouges, scratches and a bite to their rescuer, stuffed into carriers, and sent to live with a friend for the remainder of their happy-ever-after lives.)

Cutie remained in the dungeon until he was declared healthy by vet, and the other felines had finished their phases of sniffing, hissing, growling, stalking and batting the closed door and waiting and waiting and waiting for that monster that was hidden from sight.  Visitations with Cutie to feed, pet, and socialize him to me...all this lasted about two months, until I felt reasonably certain the others would not freak out when this little squirt was let loose in their midst.

Jesse......he seemed like a Jesse, so Jesse it was...his name from that day forward...Jesse actually picked his very own hour of release.  His frenzied pleadings of let-me-out-of-here! cries, caused me to fling open that door, to find him hanging onto the door jamb looking straight into my eyes.  Holding my breath, I pried him loose, and let him face his fate with the resident feline gang of four.  He survived...maturing into a handsome blue eyed devil, slim with orange points and stripped tail, he favored the siamese in him; becoming an excessive talker to humans and a climber to perches in high places...just like any bloody pain in the butt sweet looking siamese.

Jesse's one and only connection in his youth was Michael, but Michael was already old at that point of time, and Jesse was soon left to himself and me.

Andee joined the group as a pudgy wild little kitten, latching onto Jesse and always with Jesse, much to Jesse's dismay.  Jesse's not a tabby cat's cat, he wants nothing to do with an Andee type buddy, he tolerates, only tolerates.  Andee's a Jesse cuddlier, a Jesse buddy, he tries and tries and tries, but is often abandoned by Jesse.  Andee snuggles up to Jesse in his cat bed...Jesse pins his ears back with that look of annoyance plastered across his face.  Andee lays on human bed with Jesse...Jesse up and leaves, and Andee is quite alone.  What could be a match made in heaven, has become a mismatch of personalities.

The battle would begin...good versus evil, sweetness verses mischievousness, top cat versus bottom became Jesse's obsession to topple Miss Molly from her lofty throne of the feline kingdom.  He was the light of my heart, but plummeted to the depths of darkness, becoming a gigantic thorn in my side.

Miss Molly would sleep in the bedroom, on the bed, tucked under the blankets, all cozy and comfy.  Bedtime found her buried under covers curled up against my body, and I would leave a little air hole for her as the covers were quite heavy in winter.  

Jesse sought her out like a heat seeking missile when I wasn't in site of the room.  Spying the lump of Miss Molly under covers, he pounced on it, kicking the hell out of her with his hind feet.  A discombobulated feline, Molly would be screeching and trying with all her might to crawl out to save her own life.  He eventually evicted her from the bedroom, and she resigned to sleeping in the living room.  She got even by beating him to my lap every time I sat down in the living room for the evening...she could make her way onto my lap in 2 seconds flat.  Jesse retaliated by trying to lay on top of her on top of my lap.

Anytime Molly changed her sleeping location, Jesse was there to sharpen his claws and shred her furniture.  Her furniture was my furniture, so a battle ensued between him and me also, his term of endearment quickly becoming little shithead.  Jesse marked her cat pan and stunk up the room; Molly marked his cat pan and everything else her petite rump could reach.  Jesse perched on counter top, leaping and landing on her with a thud when she passed by, freaking the bejeezees right out of her.  Molly snuck onto the same counter top when alone, and pissed on his bed with all her might.  Jesse cornered and bullied her when she tried to eat her meals, Molly later one evening left a double dose pile of shit on his bed.  Anytime I heard her screech, the first word out of my mouth was always JEEESSEE!!!

Sweet, lovable, endearing, petite and polite Miss Molly became bad ass bad attitude Miss Molly, the cat the vet clinic soon came to fear with a passion.  I told them it was Jesse's doing, and they declared...No Way!...that adorable affectionate sweetheart of a lie!  Fearlessness came with Miss Molly's old age...something snapped...she began to attack Jesse in her dementia state of mind...and Jesse became the underdog in Miss Molly's remaining years.  Molly paid him back big time by living out 20 lives instead of the common 9, and spent the remaining of her many years tormenting Jesse whenever he was in range of her paws and claws.

A rogue with style, charisma, and charm; he's king of the feline trio, eating whenever he pleases, and where ever he chooses.  If I disagree, I'm pestered to the edge of sanity until I relent; as he's cunningly manipulated me into being his #1 can opener operator slave maid.  He's been known to claim Zoe's food as his own, whether it reeks of multiple fishy and powdery additives or is a flavor he utterly detests...if it's Zoe's, it's his 100%.

Drifting in and out of his foggy madness - he's chasing the dickens out of Andee one minute, then vegetating in couch potato mode the next.  He's my computer geek buddy, forcing me to align my arms and legs in fifty different work obstructive and comfort destructive positions; allowing my body the pleasure of suffering fifty different focal points of fatiguing pain as he serenely tucks himself onto my lap for the long haul.

His eyes spy my every move as he tries to outguess my next destination, until I ultimately land at his most favorite location at beddie bye time.  Curling up tight within the curve of my arm, kneading those tootsies ever so lightly, face emitting a glow of ecstasy in pure contentment, he loves and is devilish, little sweetheart of a guy.

Jesse's Other Stories...


  1. I lived with cats my entire life. While growing up, we had at least 3 cats at all times. Then I went and married a man who was allergic to cats. What was I thinking?? I've been married for 18+ years now....we have nine children, a dog, a horse, and a few fish. My life is full and very busy, but dang it, I want a kitty!

    Saying hello from Never Growing Old ~ over 40 bloggers :)

  2. New follower from the over 40 blog hop! I think kittens are adorable but my son is soooo allergic to cats! We have a bernese mountain dog and australian shephered who would LOVE to live on 4 acres! would love a visit and follow back.

  3. Aw, I am a cat lover as well. In fact, I was just sharing this hilarious photo with some co-workers just now. If I can figure out how to email you, I'll send it to you!

  4. Lovely blog! Love you cat photos, I love cats! NOw following you from BPOW

  5. Your cat photos are adorable. What a sweet post!

  6. What cute pictures! I used to have 2 cats - angel kitties now - and they would lay together! Found you from Design It Chic Hop. Have a great day!

  7. Any home is better with a cat or two! Love yours.
    Came over from the Friday Blog Hop.

  8. I'm so glad to read a new post of years. It's always good to see that you have posted. I really admire your ability to write with such detail and length. Glad to see that the blog continues to grow. I wonder how big it will be this time next year.

  9. A fabulous read with wonderful photos! Now this is scrap-booking extraordinaire. Far better, don't you think?
    Jesse is a beauty. We have six cats, four of them pulled from the wild. The four are all older now but it doesn't stop them from spraying and chasing, all of it making me insane. I just hope the younger two loves don't pick up their bad habits. I've cleaned up enough cat piss to last a lifetime.
    Another great post Yvonne!

  10. Thanks to all of you new to my blog, your comments are so wonderful to read.

    Kristy - Oops! I guess I had better hurry up and cough up an email that I want to share. Would love to see the photo.

    Eva - Thank you so much for always stopping by.

    Davida - You always send such glowing compliments my way, thank you my dear friend; and you know I've fallen quite in love with your wonderful blog.

    Pam - You are like my so relate to all the ups and downs of pets in ones life. Shhhhh...I gave up unmarking most marked territories long ago. Clean areas just attract their butts big time.

  11. What an awesome post! Love the pics too. I'm a big cat fan!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  12. I certainly enjoyed reading your blog and thank you for visiting mine. I completely understand not being able to live without cats. Have a great weekend.

  13. I adore my three puds and can relate wholeheartedly to your feline crew and their unique personalities. I have two males and a female and they each have their place in the pecking order, yet even at 11 (the "baby") and 12 (the brother and sister of the group) years old, each one still attempts to break the chain of command when they get an urge to.

    You have a lovely blog and you write beautifully. I look forward to reading more. Thanks so much for stopping by and following! I'll definitely be following back!

    ~ Mrs B

  14. Being a dog man, I had no idea about such feline much to learn so little time. =)

  15. I am visiting from the Friday hop. I am a cat lover and have two, very spoiled, fur babies.

  16. Awesome story! It's amazing how each has their special personality. Whoever coined the phrase "dumb animals" wasn't so smart!

  17. I have never lived without a cat, or two, or three at the same time in my life. Currently it is three! One Siamese, one grey Tabby, and one grey whatever. Like you, I simply could NOT imagine life without these precious, sweet, and hilarious friends in my life. What a great post! Thanks for stopping by today with your kind compliment! I love your blog and so happy that I follow you! Roz

  18. I'm your newest follower from the Boost My Blog Friday Blog Hop. If you get a minute please drop by and follow back. Have a wonderful week!

  19. Currently catless at our house, my last cat I had for 18 years and when she was gone, my husband asked for a break for him and our two dogs. Too much cat hair for his taste. I'm sure I'll wear him down again.

    Stopping over from the blog hop. Love the pictures.

  20. My husband isn't really a pet person, but I told him the cats came with the package, so he accepts it. I just vacuum more often. When we had our dog Lucky, he shed more than all the other pets put together. First time at the groomers, they said his fur clogged up the drain, lol.

  21. I too have never lived with out a cat. I've had them in my life from the time I can remember..
    and right now it's 3,,, I'd have more if space and finances allowed.. they are indoor cats. as I've said before,, if you want a cat to live 5-6 years, let them go out, if you want them to live about 15-16 keep them in... that's my story and sticking to it. !!! BJ


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