Thursday, August 11, 2011

Death on Hobson Pike

Mindlessly cruising down Hobson Pike, powered on coffee and totally void of motivation; I'm heading to that last place on earth I would ever visit if I weren't in need of a roof over my head, vittles on my table, and a few rags in my closet...THE JOB.

I've been passing this congregation of blackest black buzzards for the last three days, munching on something humongous in the grasses...a deer...a cow...perhaps a hiker???   Humongous because that's where the whole gang is except one.  That one dolt is munching on a small speck in the roadway.

That evening, as I travel faster than the speed of light in my escape from THE JOB, that poor roadway munching dolt is discovered to be just a wad of broken feathers plastered to the asphalt.  The next day...being mindless...remember, I'm on my way to work...I begin to ponder, as I swerve around that wad of broken feathers still plastered to the asphalt, if buzzards ever munch on a buzzard that is road kill.

It's a valid inquiry.  A friend of a friend of a friend knew someone that unhappily had a buzzard commit suicide under his 60 mph right tires, and he claimed he was blessed with a rotten puking date killing stench that lingered around his beloved vehicle for weeks.  Not even skunk removal concoctions could peel off that cloak of death from his set of wheels.

I google it at work, being the inquiring soul I am; and hey, it's important to satisfy curiosity, even in the work place.  It's a valid question that could pertain to some aspect of my job, inside or out.

Well, I'll be a monkey's auntie!  Buzzards are related to storks...kind of like the black sheep of the family, so to speak.

They carry around their own portable air conditioner dribbling crap on themselves to stay cool...okaaaaay.

A buzzard's digestive system will cremate anything, so disease organisms are history when gulped down hitch hiking on that putrefying snack.

Buzzards have even been known to snack on young defenseless itty bitty creatures that are still briefly in awe of that wonderful world before their eyes.

They prefer herbivorous road kill, you know, a muncher of greens; although last year I did see a trio flipping tiger striped kitty road kill around a bit, perhaps praying for a tastier grass grazing mouse to pitter pat along sooner than later.

The human consensus is that wad of broken feathers plastered to the asphalt will stay that wad of broken feathers plastered to the asphalt until it disintegrates.

Do buzzards ever munch on a buzzard that is road kill?  The answer from any respectable buzzard, even if his stomach is shrinking to the size of a marble, is "HELL NO!!!"



  1. I am SOOOO much wiser about Buzzards now . . . thanks . . . I think!? LOL!

    Hugs, Sandra

  2. Thank you so much for that valuable info!! Who knew? LOL
    Have a great weekend!

  3. Ha, silly buzzards. I love your writing style, by the way! Great blog, am a new follower :).

  4. Is that like a turkey buzzard? We have those and they are huge. If you hit one of those I hope your car fared well.

  5. I think my new cat was killing a buzzard the other day! He is a crazy bird serial killer! No, it wasn't a buzzard, but it was big and black (most likely a crow), took a long time to die, and was the fourth one dead in the same day.


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