Friday, November 8, 2013

Thoughts, like leaf litter, waiting for the compost bin.

Times change, times stays the same.  Things change, things stay the same.  It's always a tossup between the two, a compromise needed, an attitude adjusted, sometimes we walk away, often times we dig in and ride the storm.  Boring's never the same between individuals, just as wild beyond imagination floats some boats, capsizes others.  Life.  50 shades of gray, green, blue, red, you name's all there.  Decisions, decisions, decisions...even not deciding is a decision.

A choice made by someone else, we enter this race with time screaming at the top of our lungs, we exit a million different avenues of contentment or regret; but in between the two we make our lot as we chose.  We decide if it's to be sad or glad, embrace or escape, stay the same or change, run, walk or sit a spell.  We decide with what we have, whether it is plentiful or sparse, rich or poor, have or have not.  Entangled beyond all imagination, yet simple when all trimming is stripped away.

My this blog you get a peek, but of course it's all so much more complicated, because...well, I'm a complicated individual.  Aren't we all?  We're complicated because we think, and we all think to one degree or another.  It's up to each of us whether we swim against the current or go with the flow, speak up or decide to bite our tongue, create waves or sit in the shade.  We actually do all of these if we're really honest with ourselves. 

Life is living and living can be from one day to more than 25,000 days and still going; and each of those days is an adventure to more or less of a degree.  Adventures not always of our creation, yet we can stand tall on that surf board and ride the wave back to the shore, we can dogpaddle like crazy back to sure ground, or we can simply sink.  Not athletic...I'm the one dogpaddling in a frenzy, but I do manage to always stay afloat, to always reach safe haven after the storm.

Roughly in my 24,401 day of living, give or take a day or week, I'm not a stickler for perfection when it comes to summing up the total of who I am.  I'm me and that's all you get.  Isn't that wonderful?  I've noticed the bathroom mirror always reflects back an image of perfection, that my photos lack ;)  Viewing myself in a foggy haze of dreamy features works for me, so I'll stick with that; and just say sometimes these portraits lie just a teeny little bit.

I'm sick...not sick of anything special...just a sinus infection, upper respiratory infection; whatever, lost my voice for a while, and oh yes...a generous dose of serious pink eye thrown in.  Two different doctors, two different opinions...I think I'll stick to what my eye doctor said.  Saw him two days ago after two weeks off work and still counting.

He couldn't understand why my family doctor had me on the meds I showed him I was prescribed that were, in my opinion, wasting my time.  Told me to toss them in the garbage, they were toxic, especially for the length of time I was on them.  Do you know how good that made me feel about the doc that prescribed them?  And he actually gave me three bottles of eye drops...eye doctor explained that just completing one bottle was enough to do me in.  Oh, great. 

Not really sure it was completely the family doc's fault as to the number of bottles.  We have our suspicions about the pharmacy we use, as the eye doctor's eye drop's dosage on the label wasn't what I remembered him saying to my face.  I called to verify.  The bottle from the pharmacy said one drop in each eye three times a day for seven days.  The eye doctor said one drop in each eye 4 times a day for 5 days, then 3 times a day for 5 days, then 2 times a day for 5 days, then one time a day until bottle is empty.  My gosh!

Told I was in the aftermath of the infection that I guess can linger for what seems like forever, I might be contagious if in direct contact with someone, but he didn't really think I was a threat to anyone at this stage of the game.  Tell that to my boss.  They don't want me at work until I am well.  Hopefully that will be next Tuesday, if my eyes look and feel better.  Hard to convince someone you're okay when you still look like your recovering from a three day binge of drinking.

Kidney disease is getting the best of my little Andee.  He's on fluids now...about every other day...whenever he needs them.  It's my job.  He flees from Vic...I think it's the towering presents when he throws himself into his walking stride entering a room...sends the cats running for their lives :)

Still reasonably healthy, Andee hardly eats anymore on his own.  He was devouring that raw turkey like a chocoholic in a Godiva store until he developed an allergy to it and got sick to his tummy.  He gets steak now.  He says round steak's too chewy for his finicky palate and ground steak just isn't right.  I have to heat the meat to the perfecto stage which is anyone's guess.  It changes with every meal.  I had better get it right, or Mr. Picky Pot malls it to death and leaves the lacerated lumps of beef in a pile on the floor and walks off. 

His regular food is mixed in a tea cup with liquid and syringed into his mouth.  He welcomes it, so I guess I'm his little slave now.  Don't I wish I were so lucky.  Whether sick or healthy, this is my plight cause I just love that little guy all to pieces.  He still demands a half hour of constant petting each bedtime before I close my eyes, still lays on my armchair back just above my head when I watch tv; still, but not so often, wanders around the house with that worn out felt mouse clutched between his teeth before he lays it at my feet.  What's not to love about this sweet little guy.


With sanitized hands I went off the deep end at the grocery store when Vic stopped to pick up my new meds.  Organic grapes, bananas, avocado, and a package of baby portabellas for an omelet...a real omelet.  Two eggs, a bit of cold water, pinch of sea salt, two grinds of black pepper, generous dose of thyme leaves rubbed together between fingers; whisk just a bit and pour into a small omelet pan with heated grape seed oil.  Shake pan and lightly stir with fork to perfection.  Smother with sautéed mushrooms and a slice of Applegate provolone cheese...fold over onto a dinner plate.  I'm floating on air.


  1. complicated? You're a woman - complicated is just the start!! :-)

  2. I hope you are well soon. That omelette and those good fruits should help!
    What a good care giver you are for your little Andee. He sounds like a sweetie, and I know he is grateful for all that you are doing for him.

  3. sure don't sound like you are feeling all that well. I hope that you truly are at the tail end of all of this infection business. Poor Andee. My heart goes out to him.

  4. Wow,what a mess. I'm glad it's all being untangled for you. I hope the whole house is feeling better soon. I'm sure your kitty appreciates your care.

    Here in New Zealand, you sign up for the clinic, not the doctor. I saw 4 different doctors in as many months and was glad for the variety of opinions.


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