Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The Jamie Files - Tale 8 Conversations with a Cat

* Jamie has to have the last word on this blog.  Such a sweet pain-in-the-butt. *

What's up, pesty cakes?

I'd rather tell you what's down, meany cakes.

Let's not get too feisty, smarty cakes.

@#$%!  Okay, BABY cakes.

Watch it!  Only one person calls me that...lovingly.

All you say to me is NO, no, NO, no, NO, no, NO, NO, NO!

No one else is complaining about that short sweet word they all must learn to obey.

Well, I am.  I want you to say Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes???  Where did you hear of that word?

When you tell that man who visits here long times apart what you desire, and he says "yes, dear" and you do whatever you want.

No other cat has ever protested before.

I'm not like any other cat.

Yes, you're right.  That is so very true.  There!  Now I've told you "yes".

:(  That's not what I meant.

I though you told me cats don't do smiley's and frowny's.

:(   :(   :( 

Okay - "no" is the law and "yes" is the answer to a question, maybe.  So ask me a question that requires the law laid down or affirmation granted...kitty dearest.

???  Would you please say that in cat English. 

Ask me something.

Do you love me, mommy dearest?

I would do anything for you.

Do you love me?

I stuff good eats in one end and trash collect what comes out the other end.  I care about you greatly, my little headache.

Do you love me?

I love you, sort of sometimes...anyway, ask or say something to me that I can answer yes to more easily.

May I perch on the counter in the kitchen just once a day, pretty please; so I can jump on sweet Lacey when she walks by and kick the shit out of her?

NO!  and where did you learn that s word?

It's the best word I've learned from you, mommy precious...short, sweet and to the point.

:(  My, how you've grown.

May I perch on the counter in the kitchen just once a day, pretty please; so I can see where sweet Lacey goes, jump on her later and kick all that calico fur off her?

:(  You're just not getting it.  There's no way I'm going to say "yes" to something so negative, you little woolly bully.

:(  ?!?!?!?  May I perch on the counter in the kitchen just once a day, pretty please; so I can meditate while I wait for you to feed me extra spinach with my canned food, and totally be all that you want me to be?

Of course, you can...sweet Jamie.  See that wasn't so bad, was it?

Thank you, best-est mommy in all the world.  I hope that old Popeye movie was right.  Looking forward to getting stronger and kicking that loony calico all the way to the moon :) 


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