[ Bruno Liljefors - 1885 ]
I'm Ms. Charlotte Featherbender
I'm a recovering killerholic.
After six years clean, I ate a fat juicy delectable busy body fly today.
It was so addictively delicious.
Mommy yelled at me to let her squash it with her flyswatter,
but what fun is that for me?
I ignored her.
These selfies are a bummer with my short legs.
Mommy's outside today,
the whole day I think,
drinking her tea in a calm rage on the deck,
after daddy decapitated one of the Baptisia 'Purple Smoke' plants.
Since mommy's a bit under the weather,
I'll charm you with my knowledge of garden delights
other stuff more interesting.
I'm an indoor cat.
My world of gardening pleasures
weed pulling misery
consists of what my imagination can conjure up
from my window with a view.
I escape my little chamber of tranquility and race down the hall to outrun the wrath of that psycho calico coming at me like the jaws of an alligator buzz sawing towards dinner.
The calls of feathered friends beckons me to hurry to the screened sliding door, and as I softly let out a little frantic mew, mommy lovingly slides it open so I may join her, slamming it shut in Lacey's face.
The cooler summer weather has been a surprise today, and I join her for a lovely cup of cod liver oil.
She caresses me under my chin leaving my ears alone, because she so gets me. She would do anything for me, as I would do anything for her...almost.
The gardens are lovely delicate shades of grey today. I know, I know...mommy says they are green, but what is green? Silly mommy! Grey is good. Fifty shades of grey are even better.
Tiptoeing down the deck steps ever so lightly, I mosey on over to that planter that has given birth to a monstrosity that looks like a medusa head with branches snaking towards the sun.
Accidently dug up when planting last autumn, mommy put the tuber into an empty planter to see what it would morph into. She's a little hesitant to do it in just yet, but I think she should put it out of its misery.
Hummmmm... as I look through mommy's garden photos, it's going to take all the creativity my genius of a brain can fantasize to save this tale of a sad garden that took mommy to the cleaners, then hung her out to dry into a wrinkly old prune.
Mom's been upset lately, saying all her photos look her age. I guess she deleted them. Luckily I found a painting that does her justice.
[ Max Liebermann - 1878 ]
Love you, mommy!
Here Today - Gone Tomorrow Lilies
or whatever mommy calls them.
Such lovely shades of many layers of grey...
Rainbow lilies for all you humans...
and a second or third cousin to the above.
Cheeky yellow with a touch of rouge, me thinks.
More of the same, maybe a Because I Like It plant.
Do you like it?
I'm a cat! What do I know. Looks like kissy lips to me.
"Me and My Shadow" Clematis
I don't know what all the fuss is about when mommy identifies a plant.
She spends hours, but my method's much faster.
The wind blows from the east.
The wind blows from the west.
Mommy says my poetry's a little under the weather.
What does that even mean?
~ A flirty bit of sunshine
and yes, I see yellow a little bit, kind of, maybe, who knows.
Wait a minute...
I remember this one -
Buttonbush, Pinheadbush, Staticelectricitybush...take your pick!
I'm heading for the potty pan.
and so on.
Carwash for bugs
Torture chamber for bugs
Psycho weed or something like that for butterflies.
And so on, and so on, and so on...
where are the edibles?
No bugs :(
I'm out of here!
Mommy says I'm
the essence of pure loveliness.
I headbutt, claw knead, and drool on her head
to show my appreciation.
She ducks her head all over the place,
but I can keep up with her playfulness.